A FEW MOMENTS

The evening sky was dark and gloomy. It was raining heavily as the whistle of the train echoed in Ahana’s mind. She sat there, lifeless, her head rested on the window. The cold breeze and tiny droplets caressed her tan skin and soothed her mind. An old man sat on the opposite seat, frequently glancing at her. His specs rested on his nose, scanning the newspaper for a story that would interest him. But rather, he was interested in the girl with teary eyes, holding so much pain back from erupting. She had a story to tell. A story that was waiting to be told and to be heard.

‘Buzz’ the phone vibrated. The old man stretched his arm and grabbed the phone from his bag.

“Hello,” he said. Ahana sensed the voice of a woman on the other side.

“Maybe an hour or so” replied the man.

“Oh no no, do not worry. Anyways, I have a really interesting company, I am rather enjoying the journey.” the man smiled mischievously at Ahana.

“You hear the rain? It feels so beautiful and calming!” exclaimed the man raising his phone towards the window for the woman to hear the voice of rain. He then hung up the phone and grabbed his newspaper back.

“Can I borrow your phone?” asked Ahana after a few moments. The old man lowered his newspaper and narrowed his eyes with a faint smile.

“I lost mine on the station. I need to call my daughter.” frowned Ahana.

“Sure” replied the old man and passed over his phone. Ahana took a deep breath and dialed slowly.

 

“You are south Indian?” asked the man after Ahana hung up the call.

“Yes and thank you. I am Ahana by the way” she smiled faintly.

“I am Rajbeer Singh. Are you okay Ahana?” asked the old man.

“Yes.” Ahana took a deep breath and frowned. “No. I have to let go of someone I had known and loved for years”

The man was silent. A few moments later, Ahana burst out.

“I had known him for 13 years. And our daughter? What would she do if we aren’t together? She is just 8! It would be so traumatizing for her! Sometimes I wish I had never found out about his truth, nothing would have changed but now, our lives can never be the same. I’ll have to let go of him. He lied!” She wiped her tears and stared away at the dark sky for a few minutes.

“Today evening, he came to me and said ‘ Ahana, I have been wanting to tell you this for so many months but I was fearful if you’d accept the truth. I have cancer’  those words broke me! He’ll die in a year or two or maybe just a few months! I had never thought of a future without him!”

“And you will lose the few moments you have with him?” asked the old man calmly.

“Every time I look at him, I am scared to lose him. I feel betrayed.”

“And you will lose the few moments you have with him?”

“It is difficult. Scary to accept the truth. To be with him, knowing that he would be gone too soon.”

“At least you are forewarned that all you’ll have is now and a few months”

“That makes it worst. I’ll be scared every moment because I know he’ll be gone”

“I lost my wife when I was just 38 in an accident. I never knew that it was the last moment. That I’ll never be with her again. She was the most beautiful woman I had and will ever meet. For me being you is easier than being me at 38”

“Don’t we always think that we are the worst and we would have been better being someone else? It always looks better on the other side. I feel being you would have been easier cause I wouldn’t have to be scared every moment and wouldn’t know that this could be the last. It would have been traumatic to lose it all in just a few moments but now I am to lose all of it moment by moment. I’ll have to live with fear.”

“Death is an inevitable truth. But yet, we humans have failed to accept it. Over all these ages we have lived, but yet we do not know to accept death. For you, being me was easier and for me being you. All of it is because we haven’t accepted it yet. We deny accepting our lives without them. You are young and I am old but if ages of the human race have failed, it is difficult for us, of any age to accept it.”

“I’ll go back to him. Though nothing will be changed after this, but I do not want any regrets. I do not want to regret not being with him for another moment. I will be scared, restrict myself from living because of the fear but I have to.  At least I’ll hold no regrets after he is gone.”

” You are strong. You have the courage to face the fear if not accept. I wonder how your man accepted his death. He has been living with it for months and now that he has confronted it, all he needs is you and your daughter by his side.”

Ahana wiped her tears and nodded with a faint smile.

“I am sorry for you and thank you. The situation hasn’t changed but at least I can find a thing to be grateful for in the worst. At least I know the truth of death. Thank you. And you are stronger cause you have the strength to live without your wife for so many years.”

The old man smiled. The train halted with a loud whistle. Vendors rushed in selling chai and samosa on the rainy day. He got up, stretched himself a bit, and stepped down on the platform to breathe in the soothing air.

Ahana picked up his phone and dialed again. “I am coming back to you,” she said to her husband. Just as she was keeping the phone back on the berth, she was frozen to see the contact logs. She had assumed that the old man’s daughter had called but the log said it was his wife. She held up her breath and searched through the messages on the old phone and found one sent an hour ago to his wife- I’ll be back soon. I had missed you so much. Can’t wait to meet you and our daughter. Love you.

Ahana’s heart raced, she searched up the old man’s bag and found a book of short stories. ‘Stories to inspire you to live and accept death’ said the byline of the book. She turned the book for the author’s name and was stunned to find Rajbeer Singh, the name of the old man printed as the author.

He lied. He had stories. Ahana glanced at the old man who was enjoying the company of another young man at the tea stall, sipping in tea and another story. She smiled and forgave him. Though he lied, he taught her to give life another chance. To die without regrets. And to accept death.