She breathed deeply, counting her last moments on each breath. Her heart was pounding for air and her vision was soft and obscure. She knew the time has come. It was cold and her body was freezing. For one last time, she turned her head and glanced at her 5 husbands with a dog walking away. She smiled faintly, whispered “goodbye” and turned back, staring at the vast blue sky and clouds that were too low. Her soul would depart from the great mountain- Himalaya.Her mind was at peace. No deep breaths to steal another moment in life. A state of oblivion. A black ocean engulfed, her eyes closed, traveling into the past.
Yudhisthir and Draupadi were on the thrones in the royal hall. They were bestowed with the rule of Hastinapur. Everyone bowed at the king and the queen, the crowd smiling deeply for righteousness was established, but the royalty wasn’t. Their smiles were deceptive. DHRITARASHTRA was cursing his fate under his breath while KUNTI and GANDHARI had eyes holding tears, restraining them from erupting at such an auspicious occasion. The Pandavas were contended, but their hearts were screaming for their loss and sufferings.
She took another deep breath, and let the black ocean of mind engulf her.
“He killed my children! He killed my brother! He must be punished! Kill him! Ashwathamma must die!” screamed Draupadi in agony. She fell to the ground, crying and screaming at the demise of her children and brother who were killed with deceit. Killed in their sleep. (DHRISHTADUMNYA- THE SHADOW OF DEATH )
“They never woke up,” whispered Draupadi under a heavy breath.
Clashes of swords and the screams of warriors dying every moment. The devastating sight of BHISHMA Pitahmah on a deathbed of arrows. The death of Guru Drona and the death of ABHIMANYU- THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR. The death of Karna and the death of Duhsasana. The fire pyres of millions of warriors flashed before her eyes, instilling immense pain and regret in her mind.
Another deep breath and she travelled into another terrifying moment.
The dark walls of the Matsya Kingdom. Draupadi is grooming the long black hair of the queen and is resisting her command to be sent to the chambers of Kichaka, her brother to fetch her wine.
She is walking in the dark corridors, a sword hidden underneath her saree, and enters the room of Kichaka. He grabs her by her waist, molesting her. Draupadi is resisting his touch and with a fierce look, curses him to death and runs out of the chambers.
Bheem is ripping Kichaka’s body in revenge for him molesting his wife.
“For once they did protect me” whispered Draupadi under a heavy breath.
Her husbands are away in the forest. She is pouring water for Jayadrath, the husband of Duhsala, Duryodhan’s sister. He throws the glass away and grabs her, abducting her. Draupadi screams and fights back but he has already pulled in his carriage and commanded the horses to speed up.
Another deep sigh.
All the warriors have their heads bent low. The Raj Sabha is witnessing the greatest sin. The Pandavas have their heart soaked in regret. Deep regret. The evil laughs of Duryodhan and Duhsasana echo in the hall as Draupadi is disrobed. The laughs subside as the faint voice of faith overpowers. Duhsasana falls over the ground, failing at disrobing Panchali.
“Faith over fear” whispers Draupadi.
Intense pain consumes her as she is dragged forcefully into the Rajya Sabha by her hair. She is not afraid. Instead is questioning the Sabha. Questioning each warrior. ” “And when Dharmaraj had lost himself, how did he owe any right to gamble me away!” said Draupadi ferociously. The Pandavas looked at her, their eyes erupting with tears. Draupadi glanced back at her husband, broken. She was broken that her husbands did not have the courage to behead Duryodhan and Duhsana yet. She was broken that Bhishma Pitahmah and Guru Drona did not step ahead to protect Hastinapur’s daughter.
A deep breath.
The sun is retreating, paving way for the darkness to engulf the sky. She is walking peacefully in the gardens of Indraprasth. She turns to stare at the marvelous palace. The beauty of the Palace soothes her mind.
She is running through the corridors of the Palace, chasing her children who insisted her on catching them. The boys are mocking her for being slow. She paces up and catches them. She embraces them and whispers a small prayer of gratitude.
She smiles faintly and offered a small prayer for the departed souls of her children who died too early. “You left me too early” she whispered.
The air is engulfed with chantings of slokas and the smoke of the ceremonial fire. She is adorned with heavy jewels and a red saree. She gently smiles at her husbands, who return the affection as they repeat the promises of marriage and togetherness.
A tear falls down her tender skin, onto the cold land of ice.
She has a small sword and a shield up. She swiftly attacks Dhristadyumna who responds with another blow with a sword slightly larger than hers. She blocks the attack and with a quick moment, raises her sword at her brother. “I told you I am better brother” Draupadi mocks him and he rises back with a faint smile to fight back “Not yet”.
She is running through the gardens of the Panchal Palace. Her father, Draupad is chasing her and Dhristadyumna. Her mother is quietly embracing the sight and the happiness and joy the moment held.
She breathes deeply, rejoicing every moment of her life.
It feels hot. Warm rather. She looks up to find his brother holding her hand. She is inside fire. A force pushes her out, and she steps into the world of mortals- emerging as a blazing princess. King Drupad is bowing low at the fire as hundreds of Pandits chant the slokas in unison.
“Madhav” she whispers.
She remembers him being there with her inside the fire. He was there with her in the Rajya Sabha when she was broken and no one protected her. He was there in every moment when she felt happy. Calm. But also in the moments when she felt sad. Broken. He was always there. There when her husbands and the greatest warriors failed at protecting her.
“You were always there for me Madhav,” whispered Draupadi under a heavy breath. “Where are you”
“Always with you Sakhi.” whispered back Krishna.
Draupadi took a deep breath and released her soul. She felt calmness and love as she held Krishna’s hand. The world around her was spinning but her heart felt serene. The peace she has never known before. She was rising from her mortal body into another realm. A realm that felt beautiful and tranquil.